There are some high schools where students had to pass a certain number of courses to graduate, and if they didn’t pass a course, they got the grade “Not Yet.” This is fantastic, because if you get a failing grade, you think, I’m nothing, I’m nowhere. But if you get the grade “Not Yet” you understand that you’re on a learning curve. It gives you a path into the future.

It’s easy to fall into the tyranny of now, but “Not Yet” is a real turning point. We have to realize that our abilities can be developed and that we have growth mindset.

How are we raising our children? Are we raising them for now instead of yet? Are we raising kids who are obsessed with getting A’s? And are they carrying this need for constant validation with them into their future lives?

So what can we do? How can we build that bridge to yet? First of all, we can praise wisely, not praising intelligence or talent. That has failed. Don’t do that anymore. But praising the process that kids engage in: their effort, their strategies, their focus, their perseverance, their improvement. This process praise creates kids who are hardy and resilient.

Just the words “yet” or “not yet,” give kids greater confidence, give them a path into the future that creates greater persistence. Every time students push out of their comfort zone to learn something new and difficult, the neurons in their brain can form new, stronger connections, and over time they can get smarter.

Summing-up: Once we know that abilities are capable of such growth, it becomes a basic human right for children, all children, to live in places that create that growth, to live in places filled with yet.