Do you keep agreeing to do tasks you don’t have time to do? Do you allow people to interrupt you at their whim? Do you allow your children to ignore your requests? Do you allow people to treat you with disrespect?
If you want to experience less stress, enhanced relationships, improved health, and better time management, then you must learn to set boundaries. Learn to take control of your life.
When you don’t stand up for yourself and set boundaries, negative things happen: people take advantage of you; life becomes chaotic; you feel abused; your strong self-esteem fades away; and you struggle to find joy and fulfillment in your life.
The first step in learning to set boundaries is self-awareness. For example, pay close attention to the situations when you lose energy, feel stress or guilt, get upset, or want to cry. Begin by identifying the things that bother you. As you set boundaries with people, always be respectful, control your emotions, and use a respectful tone.
When you do set boundaries, don’t feel like you need to defend, debate, or detail your feelings. Instead, clearly explain your position; be firm, gracious and direct. Caution: Make sure the boundaries you set are highly important to you. If you are constantly setting boundaries, people may get tired of living by your rules.
When you have set a boundary, you need to stand firmly behind it. Stay strong. When faced with resistances or repeat occurrences restate your position. If you give in, people won’t respect your boundaries and you will open the door for future abuse.
Summing-up: If abusive behavior continues, consider severing the relationship. No one has the right to take advantage of you or intrude upon your lifestyle. Sometimes you need to take a step back to go forward.