Finding the Heart to Own It

Owning your circumstances depends on seeing both the victim and accountable sides of a story.

Most people quite naturally focus on the facts thatmake them feel victimized or taken advantage of while screening out the accountable facts that support their own role in creating their circumstances. Therefore, in the “Own It” stage, you want to move beyond such filtering, focusing instead on the accountable facts of your story, that is, the other version of your story where you delineate your own actions or inactions that contributed to your circumstances.

The following five questions will help guide your assessment:

  1. Can you cite the most convincing point of the “other side of the story” that “they” are telling?
  2. If you wished to warn someone in similar circumstances not to make the same mistakes, what would you tell them?
  3. What facts did you choose to ignore?
  4. What facts should you add to the story that you have left out?
  5. What would you do differently if you faced this situation again?

Own Your Circumstances: You do not want to remain in the victim cycle. People who own their circumstances never allow the actions of someone or something else to keep them stuck
Below The Line. Instead, accountable people accept whatever ways in which their own behavior contributed to the situation and set about overcoming those circumstances, no matter how difficult.

Summing-up: The benefits of owning your circumstances more than compensate for the heart-wrenching effort involved. When you find the heart to own your circumstances, you automatically gain the commitment to overcome and change those circumstances for the better.

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