Monday, November 21st, 2016
You know it when you see it. A person walks into a room and heads turn. The person instantly attracts positive attention and people gravitate toward them.
Ever wonder why some people seem to have it yet others don’t? “It” is that elusive, special quality that’s hard to define. Call it magic, charisma, magnetism, or aura. People who have the “IT” factor have influence. They have social equity with their peers because when they talk, people listen. When they lead, people follow.
Those who have “it” are just like you, but they have studied, cultivated, and practiced some fundamental skills. A person with good presence never lets people see her sweat. She’s not harried running from meeting to meeting, she’s not flustered when she speaks, and she’s seems like the person who, even in the wake of a crisis in the middle of the night, could still show up looking put together.
Remember this. It’s not a technique. It is an attitude. Just like love, it can’t be forced and it shouldn’t be faked. If anything, charisma is the result of many unconscious processes that were developed over time. Begin by becoming an active listener. Maintain eye contact, and make it about the other person. Don’t interrupt when someone is speaking to you. Understand before being understood.
People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Make everyone around you feel like he or she is the only person in the room.
Find out what you can do to make others feel comfortable. Break the ice with a little humor. Discover how compliments give people wings. Stop complaining, and stop wanting to please everybody. Don’t make excuses, and don’t take yourself too seriously. Take responsibility for your own life, and keep your ego in check.
Summing-up: The “It” factor is one of those undefined and subjective attributes that you either have or don’t. And for those who don’t have “It,” this undeniable “It” factor is more than just an attractive quality… it’s also a hallmark of success. And “It” falls into the category of you-know-it-when-you-see-it.