Tolerance implies a kind of sufferance, an enduring resignation. Tolerance conveys endurance and fortitude. Great relationships require give and take; they expand to accommodate.
Tolerance-based relationships are exercises in long suffering. There is a degree of rigidity about them. Such rigid relationships have the volume turned up on every flaw and error. People in relationships based on tolerance are perpetually pained by partner imperfections, but suffer in silence; in resignation.
Elasticity is about buoyancy, the opposite of rigidity. Elastic relationships have shock absorbers. They expand and unfold in their acceptance; little bumps in the rocky road of a relationship are absorbed without attention. It is the difference between an oak and a willow.
Great relationships are about affirming relationships more through ebb and flow than give and take. They seek ways to open rather than means to close. Instead of nitpicking details, they roll with normal imperfections.
When colleagues or customers put too much energy into little details, surprise them by joyfully yielding on their too-loud demands. You may shock them and delight yourself.
Examine your business practices. Do you make customers or colleagues go to the nth degree to get what they need? Are there barriers that make it difficult to get an unusual request fulfilled? Try calling someone in your team; disguise your voice and ask for something unique or out of the ordinary. Do your associates recoil, or do they expand? Do they tell, or do they ask?
A simple service philosophy is: “The answer is ‘yes,’ what is your question?” This “We’ll figure out a way to do whatever you need” attitude applies to colleagues and customers and is a signal that assertive acceptance is more virtuous than stoic tolerance. It lets employees show optimistic fluidity, not self-sacrificing indulgence.
Summing-up: Put tolerance in a vigorous relationship and you have a recipe for ironhanded conflicts and energy wasted on minutiae. Relationship elasticity, on the other hand, stretches the relationship so it can breathe and expand. And, partners who flow together grow together.
